cyberthug13:

me: hey im feeling sick today i cant come to skool

school office: why

me: im coming down w/ the dunk fever 

school office: u are lying

me: image

school office: wow i am a bitch, take 3 weeks off

hopelesslydimwitted:

ironychan:

Cecil Baldwin died twenty years ago.  The building where the radio station used to be was torn down to make room for a strip mall.  Thousands of people thought they were living in a perfectly normal Arizona town.

Then the broadcasts started…

THIS IS TERRIFYING 

wickershire:

swanjolras:

HEY HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE QUEER DRUNK ASSHOLE POET TURNED 450 TODAY (and let me tell you, there is a lot of competition for the title “favorite queer drunk asshole poet”)

BUT as we all know, there is some controversy over who ACTUALLY wrote shakespeare’s plays!

so in order to mark this SERIOUS and LEGITIMATE issue, i have compiled the most likely theories in this comprehensive list:

  • in julius caesar, cassius says, “this is my birthday; on this very day cassius was born.” on that same day, cassius DIES. guess who else was not only born on april 23, but died april 23?? that’s right, shakespeare. english playwright? or ancient roman ghost bent on revenge? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
  • shakespeare married a woman called anne hathaway. BATMAN ALSO MARRIED ANNE HATHAWAY. have you ever seen shakespeare and batman in the same place at the same time??????
  • lived in london? totally encountered prostitutes several times? probably spoke english? william shakespeare……. or JACK THE RIPPER
  • uh, excuse me, an uneducated glovemaker’s son couldn’t possibly have written the 38 works of art attributed to shakespeare. please consider instead this picture of a cat pushing another cat in a shopping cart. you’re welcome.
  • ””“”“”“”“”“president obama????”“”“”“”“” more like PRESIDENT WILLIAMSHAKESPOBAMA. wake UP, america
  • aliens.
  • ME I’M WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I HAVE BEEN SHAKESPEARE ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOLS YOU IGNORANT FOOLS

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

I’m not like other teens. I’m 47

(Source: swagonmydick4000000000)

shattersthemoon:

Real talk

(Source: centuryspread)

(Source: theonion)


this fucking cast they actually put the names of their characters on their chairs when they were casting AND EVANS HAS DUMBBELLS ON HIS CHAIR this is fucking if this isn’t proof that marvel grows their actors on fucking trees on a farm idek what is.

this fucking cast they actually put the names of their characters on their chairs when they were casting AND EVANS HAS DUMBBELLS ON HIS CHAIR this is fucking if this isn’t proof that marvel grows their actors on fucking trees on a farm idek what is.

(Source: tcnystarkss)

roommate requirements

  • willing to reenact the ‘where’s my supersuit’ scene from the incredibles with me at any point in time

(Source: punkwarren)

When you can access all of that, you’ll possess a power no one can match.

(Source: xavierstea)

(Source: nosdrinker)

alt-j:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

benedict cumberbatch harasses a black youth

this is the fifth time I’ve reblogged this i don’t care

alt-j:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

benedict cumberbatch harasses a black youth

this is the fifth time I’ve reblogged this i don’t care

(Source: icachondeo)

dutchster:

do twins ever realize one of them was unplanned

gif:

i laugh harder every time i replay it

(Source: weloveshortvideos)